Ted Talk 131: Stop Giving Up On Yourself and Your Health

Podcast Transcription: Stop Giving Up On Yourself and Your Health with Ted Ryce  

Ted Ryce: One of the biggest things that I see as a coach in this industry is that people give up on themselves so easily. For example, maybe this is you, you start to get in better shape, maybe it’s the beginning of the year, maybe you have some sort of event that you’re getting in shape for, and it’s going well.

But after a while, something happens. Maybe you step on the scale after a weekend, where you know you over ate and you saw that the number was up, and it wasn’t what you wanted to see. Maybe it was you were a bit stressed at work, maybe you’ve been putting in the work, and you feel like, “I don’t know if I’m seeing the results that I want to see,” and so you give up.

If this resonates with you, then I want you to listen to all of today’s episode. So, we’re going to talk about this and how to put it into it. So, what is up, my friend? Welcome back to the show. You’re listening to the Legendary Life podcast. I’m your host, Ted Ryce, coach to entrepreneurs.

And this is something—I was having a conversation with a client the other day, and this came up. And what this client was telling me, she told me that, she said, “You know, every time I feel like I’m just getting started, just getting into this journey, something comes up in my life, and it throws me off, and I end up going backwards.”

And I said the first thing is this—and in this case, she was talking about a medical issue she was dealing with, and I said, “First thing is this: don’t worry about the time. If you’ve got to get something handled medically, we will take care of you, we will pause the program for you.

If you want to go on vacation to the Bahamas and drink dark rum drinks mixed with coconut cream and little umbrellas in them, we don’t pause the program because you’re acting up, but for medical situation? Absolutely.

So, number one, don’t worry about that. We’ve got your back. We want your success in this program.” She said, “Oh, Ted that makes such a difference for me.”

And the second thing is this: it’s like, when you’re going through a process, shit’s going to happen. It might be little things, it might be big things, but something’s always going to happen. For example, my client, she felt like she had, you know, to use this silly expression, all her ducks in a row. She thought it was a good time for her to get to work on this particular area of her life. And it was, but then something happened.

And for me, if you remember my journey of getting super lean to the point where I ended up taking these photos, the photo that is now on the thumbnail for this podcast, that happened at the end of 2019. And I was working with a coach for me to help me in my body transformation. And that experience changed the game for me. Not only did it get me to my leanest, I don’t want to say ever, because I’ve been super lean before.

But it got me to my leanest that I had been in a long time, and without the crazy jiu-jitsu and weightlifting workout schedule that I was doing in my 20s and early 30s. Instead of doing all that hard work, I just dialled in my nutrition with the help of an expert, Eric, my coach, and I got great results. But if you remember that story, I got Dengue fever. I was in Thailand during that time and I got Dengue fever.

And you know what, I was feeling really good. I was looking pretty jacked. And I was training Muay Thai, I was dialling in my diet, I was lifting weights, I was working on my business, everything was going well. And then I started feeling really bad, all of a sudden. I got this headache, and the headache just got worse and worse. And I said, “Gisele, I’ve got to go to the doctor.”

Now, I’m… I don’t want to say a wimp, because I’ve handled some pain in my life. But I’m not the type of person to, when the check engine light goes on, I’ve learned my lesson already, from watching my dad fall apart.

I was like, “Okay, I’ve got to go to the doctor. Something’s not feeling right here.” I rarely get headaches. I only get a headache when I when I drink too much, and I haven’t been drinking at all. It doesn’t make any sense. And sure enough, I got diagnosed with dengue fever, and my white blood cell count was just dropping. I felt like a 90-year-old man.

The point being that I had paid for this experience, that I had invested in this experience, this coaching experience to get me to the next level with my health. And I knew by the way, that this was what I needed to do because it would help me take my business to the next level. It would help me take my skills as a coach to the next level. And by the way, it did all that, but here I am in the middle of it with dengue fever.

And if you don’t know what dengue fever is, I got bit by a mosquito, I got this… I don’t know what it is, I guess it’s a virus. I don’t remember. But I think it’s a virus. And yeah, I was out. So, it wasn’t like, oh, well, I was doing something risky. No, I got bit by a mosquito. I don’t even remember getting bit by a mosquito but I definitely got bit by one, got dengue fever.

And for about two weeks, I was— I think for a week, I was just in bed, sleeping—and highly unusual for me to be sleeping that much and I lost my appetite. I actually lost some fat because I was not eating that much. And that says a lot, by the way, because if I’m sleeping a lot and not eating, that’s the exact opposite of how I am. I’m a person that can go without sleep, and a person who can eat a lot. That’s me.

And afterwards, I pushed through that point. And I was like, “Okay, well, this sucks, because, okay, I did lose some fat. But I lost quite a bit of muscle, I lost quite a bit of strength, and I’m going to have to build that back.” So, I had to start from that point again, and work my way up. And it sucked, because I was already doing the work and then got this setback.

And you know what really sucks: It’s one thing if you’re like, “Oh, well, you know, I was out partying, and this happened and I got sick.” You know, if you can trace it back to some bad decision, but I didn’t have any bad decisions, right? I just got bit by mosquito, it was just bad luck. But I pushed through and was able to get into the best shape of my life. I was 40 years old, about to turn 41, something like that, at the end of 2019. Can’t do math right now.

So, I pushed through and got into the best shape that I had been in in a long time. And again, without the crazy workout schedule that I was doing before. I did it in the healthiest way I’ve ever done it in my entire life. And it changed my business.

But what would have happened if I would have gotten that dengue fever, and then would have said, “You know what, I got dengue fever, I’m done with this, I’m going to stop the coaching. I’m going to give up.”

Well, number one, I wouldn’t have been in great shape. But even more importantly, I got into the zone in a way I had never been in my life, with my business. It was great. And it was only because I chose to push through what had happened, which was unfair to me, which sucked to go through, I felt like I was 90 years old. I got out of bed, my knees were aching. It’s like, “Oh my gosh, I hope this isn’t what it feels like when I’m 90, if I make it that long.” It was unfair, I was a victim of a mosquito and a virus.

And my point to you is this: There is no scenario where life just opens up for you and spares you inconveniences, or tragedies or unfairness. You can’t expect that to happen. You can’t expect life to make room for your goals. The reality is you’ve got to push through, you’ve got to get back up when you’ve been knocked down, get your ass up, dust your shoulders off and push forward again.

And one of the things that is interesting to me about this concept, this idea is many of us, Wow, if we would have given up so easily when we were children, we would have never learned to walk, we would have tried to walk, our parents would have said, “come on, walk, take your first step,” we would have fallen on our butts, started crying, and just given up, “Ah, this is too hard. I tried and I fell right on my butt and it hurt. This walking thing, it’s not for me.” That sounds ridiculous, right?

I mean, we all have to walk, if we can, for those of us who are able. Got to learn how to walk— wouldn’t think of it. But yet, when it comes to being healthy, we give up so easily. And it’s almost like we’ve got to be our parent, we have to parent ourselves. Not to get a little metaphysical here, but that’s kind of like what it is. That’s how I look at it.

Number one, we have to learn how to do this for ourselves. We have to learn how to talk ourselves to getting back up, dusting ourselves off and pushing forward with what we want to achieve in life. But a lot of us don’t do that. Or a lot of us can’t do that. Or feel that we can’t do that. That’s when therapy or a coach can make all the difference for you.

In fact, I started working with a new psychologist. I’ve been trying out several. I’ve tried out three, actually.

My goal is this: I want to be emotionally healthy enough. I’m emotionally healthy in many ways, but in relationships, like I’ve shared with you before, that’s the final area of my life, because with my health, I feel very good. And I still want to work with—there’s some people that I want to work with to see if I can improve some of my issues, especially some of the joint pains that I have from injuries, previous injuries. So, there’s people I want to work with to see if they can help you with that.

And in my business, I’ve committed to a year of business coaching. In fact, truth be told, I’ve got two business coaching groups that I’m a part of. One’s coming to an end, the other one started recently. But with relationships, hmm, I don’t have anybody—not recently. I’ve been testing people out. And I’ve been having some challenges in relationships. And I’ve had this come up for me in my relationships, maybe you’ve experienced this as well.

And I’ve even said to myself, “Hey, you know, maybe this relationship thing, yeah, maybe I’m just going to be alone. Maybe I’ll just have these superficial relationships with people, there’ll be short term, but that whole, like, really connecting with someone and growing old together and develop having a family together? Maybe that’s not for me.” I’ve had those thoughts come up.

And of course, why have I had them come up? Easy. Trace it back to your childhood. It’s where you learned everything? I mean, come on, why do you know how to ride a bike? Why do you know how to walk? Let’s use the bike example, because there are people who don’t know how to ride a bike, if their parents didn’t show them. But I’m assuming that you have, the only reason that you know how to ride a bike is because your parents had you do it, they took you through it.

And for those of you who said, “Well, my friend taught me how to ride a bike” or whatever, okay, but you get the idea.

We learn things from our parents, we also have—I don’t want to call them blind spots, but I want to say places where our parents didn’t teach us even though it’s a necessity for this world; sometimes that’s personal finance. I learned how to make money from my parents. My dad worked for himself, but he was terrible at managing the money, all the money that he made. I mean, he was making $300,000 a year at a time where that was really a lot of money, and then managed to get into $100,000 worth of debt.

Not good financial skills. And I’m sure his parents didn’t teach him that either. And he didn’t have the awareness at the time, because he didn’t live in this world that we do today, that I live in today, and you live in today, where it’s like, hey, get your…You know, there was no Dave Ramsey Show, right? Or if there was, it was not popular.

And so, we get certain things in our childhood, and there’s certain skills that we lacked. And what I’m trying to teach you here is not to blame your parents that they should have done a better job, because the reality is, this obesity situation, it’s quite new, it’s in the past few decades. And so your parents, they didn’t have to deal with that, it’s a very different world. And it’s a world we have to contend with. Regardless if we learned the skills necessary to handle that area of our life or not.

You know, it’s funny, my grandparents on my dad’s side, my grandfather lived to 92 years old, wow, my grandmother lived to 83 or 84, or something like that. Maybe it was 82. I don’t quite remember. But my dad lived to 76, 76! And my grandparents didn’t exercise. My dad went through spurts of exercising, and then not exercising, mostly not exercising, mostly drinking too much alcohol, way too much alcohol, mostly too much stress.

But man, that’s not genetics there. That’s lifestyle. And nobody stepped in to tell him—or actually, people did. I was one of them. But he just couldn’t get with the idea. And so I know it may feel like I’m talking all over the place right now.

But the message is this: we’ve got to push through to get what we want in life. And if you want to be healthier, and find yourself consistently giving up, there are two things here: one, you just have to understand that is the way forward, you have to not give up. That is how you achieve what you want.

The second is you don’t have your parents to cheer you on to not give up. Like, when you wanted to give up when you were just a little baby and perhaps fell on your butt, trying to walk, and didn’t want to get up and try again. But your parents weren’t going to let you do that. So you’ve got to kind of learn how to parent yourself, and if you can’t, then you need assistance. Maybe that’s a therapist, maybe that’s a coach.

One of the biggest things that I do for my clients is what I’m trying to get around to telling you here, is I help them to view the situation differently so they don’t feel that strong urge to give up, because the negative emotions come up when something doesn’t go your way. And actually, the story of the client who I started this Real Talk Friday with, she’s actually doing quite well. But she got hit with some things, wanted to give up.

And after our talk, it lowered her stress levels, allowed her to see your situation differently, so she could push on. While I’ve never had that problem with health, even my coach didn’t have to pet talk me when I got the dengue fever, this happens in other areas of our life as well.

And for me, it happened in relationships, I feel that urge to give up, to throw in the towel to say, hey, maybe this isn’t for me.

But the price of giving up on our dreams... There’s only one thing worse than suffering to achieve what we want. It’s the suffering that happens when we feel full of regret for not going after what we know would light us up inside, what we know is aligned with our values of who we are.

I’d rather have the pain of pushing through than the pain of regret. And what’s kind of interesting is that’s all that there is for us here, are those two choices.

You know, it is hard, it is hard to push yourself. If you don’t feel like you’re in a position where this health thing comes easy to you, hey, I feel it. I sit in these coaching calls with my business coaching group listening to these terms, and it’s not something I’m passionate about, to be honest.

What’s your KPIs? What are your SOPs? What is your collected versus contracted revenue? It’s like, “Oh, man, this stuff just makes my eyes glaze over.” But I know I have to push through for me to achieve my goals. So, what is my big goal? Well, I want to live a certain quality of lifestyle, and I’m not willing to accept less. And the other is part of that lifestyle is serving others, to help others.

And I don’t mean my entrepreneur and executive clients who pay me a lot of money to work with me, I’m talking about making a big impact, a bigger impact on what I’m doing now with this podcast, with speaking engagements.

So, I know I’ve got to sit through those sometimes tedious calls. In fact, I’ve got one today—coaching call with my business group, and you know, push through the discomfort to get what I want.

Because I know that person that I’m going to be a year from now is going to maybe not be a master at those things, but he’s going to have those things handled enough so that he achieves what he wants in life. He achieves what he wants, let’s say lifestyle wise, because I don’t even own a car right now, I’m not particularly interested in owning a car, but I do want a certain level of lifestyle. I want to stay in nice hotels, I want to stay in nice Airbnbs.

Oh, I am so over traveling in coach. There are certain things that I really want. I need certain things I need to have certain experiences in my life that really made me feel wow, I’ve been through a lot and I’m still living the good life here, despite all the tragedies and all the craziness.

And I really believe for you, if you’ve taken the time to listen to this episode, achieving great health, you know there’s three big areas in your life that you can win big with. You can win big with your career, your business. In other words, you can make enough money to have some incredible experiences.

I mean, I’m sitting in Portugal right now. I never thought I’d go to Portugal. Or I’ve been to Hong Kong and Bali. I never thought I was going to go to these places in my life when I was in my 20s. But I lived in Bali. I lived in Portugal. I lived in Thailand. I only spent a week in Hong Kong. I don’t know if I’d really want to live there. Even though I’ve heard from people who have, it was cool.

So, you can win big in your career, you can win big financially, whether that’s to travel or to -whatever it is, like, you’re really providing for your family. You can win big in relationships. You can have an amazing family. You can have a loving partner; someone who you share experiences with.

And the last area for a lot of Americans, because 70% of Americans are overweight or obese. And that’s being nice, by the way. That’s judging by BMI, because it’s way worse than that. Probably, I don’t know, 80 or 90% of people are over fat. If they would get a body fat test, then we’d know the truth, but that ain’t going to happen, so don’t wait for that study to come out. It’s too expensive for everybody in the country to spend $100 on a DEXA scan, or whatever it is.

So, I believe that you’re here because you know that health is…You’ve got something going on for yourself career wise, you’ve got something amazing going on for yourself with your business or your career, you’ve got something amazing going on with your relationships. But when it comes to your health, you feel like there’s something missing. And if you’re like a lot of people I’ve worked with, you’ve tried many things, and you’ve kept going backwards.

And the truth that I’ve started telling clients is this: the secret is you’ve got to not give up, you have to push through. And every time that you want to give up, you’ve got to show up anyway. Or if you do disappear, you’ve got to force yourself eventually to come back, get back on it, and the more you can shorten the time that it takes you to go from a case of the fuck-its to getting back on track, that’s the sign that you’re getting emotionally healthier.

It’s the sign that you’re developing the skills that you need to, it’s the sign that you’re on your way to hitting mastery. So, stop giving up. If you’re wondering if it’s worth it, I can tell you it is.  Having a fit body is better than having a million dollars in the bank account. Hmm, I shouldn’t say that because I don’t have a million dollars. But I’ve got a little bit of money in the bank account. Let me tell you, I really appreciate how much money I have.

But man, I’ve been in a bad place with my health, and I would give every single penny if I needed to, to get it back. That’s how important it is. It’s the one thing that makes everything else possible. And without it, well…without it, whew, maybe the relationships matter, but the money certainly does it. So that’s what I want to leave you with here.

I hope this was helpful. I hope it brought up some thoughts for you about why you keep giving up and about what you need to do to really conquer this area, because it’s worth it. That’s all I’ve got. Hope you have an amazing weekend, and I’ll speak to you on Monday.