Success Story: After Following Restrictive Diets & Time-Consuming Workouts for Almost 3 Decades at Age 52, Dan Finally Transformed His Body by Doing Less

Podcast Transcription: Success Story: After Following Restrictive Diets & Time-Consuming Workouts for Almost 3 Decades at Age 52, Dan Finally Transformed His Body by Doing Less

Ted Ryce: Dan, thank you so much for coming on the show today and sharing your story.  

Dan Gray: It’s my pleasure, Ted.  

Ted Ryce: So, let’s start out with a little bit about who you are and your results in the program, and then we’ll go from there.  

Dan Gray: Sure. So, I am 52 years old, and I am a divorce lawyer. I’ve been a divorce lawyer for 26 years based out of Fairfax, Virginia, which is a suburb of Washington DC. I’m married, I’ve got two kids; one’s a high school senior and the other is a second year in college. I joined the program in late April of this year and so far, I’ve lost just over 40 pounds, and it’s been terrific.  

Ted Ryce: Yeah Dan. And one thing that I think would be kind of cool to talk about is that you listened to the podcast, if I remember correctly, for five years before having that call with me. Can you talk a little bit about the thought process that went on, and what made you decide to book the call?  

Dan Gray: Yeah, I actually think it was a little bit longer than five years, I was trying to go back and figure out how long I had listened to you, but it’s been a while. And I think the reason I didn’t reach out was because you were sort of talking about how you catered to celebrities and high-performers and I don’t really think I saw myself in that cohort, but I guess, I was at a point where I was open to having a conversation.  

And I think that’s what prompted me to call you, is that you said, “Just reach out and let’s have a conversation about it,” and I was like, “Well, why not? Maybe this is something that is sort of directed at me.” And it turned out to be so. But I think that’s why I didn’t reach out because I didn’t view myself as a Silicon Valley Titan or something like that, I’m just a normal person. You know what I mean?  

Ted Ryce: Yeah. And after being in the program since April, how do you feel about you being a high performer now, or the type of situation, the type of coaching program and the other people in it?  

Dan Gray: So, I’m in the group program and I’ve had an opportunity to meet the other folks that are part of the group online and they’re all high performers, but I guess not in the way that I sort of envisioned it. There are all high-performers that own their own businesses or that are really excellent at the jobs that they do.  

And I think for me, what’s been really powerful, is that you listen to their stories and you see so much of yourself in what they’re saying, and you always view yourself as sort of unique and you’re the only one that’s going through these particular struggles, and what you realize being part of the group is that, boy, we all have pretty much the same story, in terms of our attempts to get fit and the struggles that we’ve had in the past.  

Ted Ryce: Interesting. So, what I hear you saying is: I need to work on my marketing skills much, I need to do a better job of who I’m talking to and...  

Dan Gray: No, no, you’re a terrific marketer. I mean, the reason that I listened to your podcast for all those years was: I viewed you as somebody who was ready to admit mistakes in the past, and you were always trying to get better at what you do and just, you were committed to helping people.  

And I think that’s really what drew me to the podcast and kept me listening was that you were open to growing as a person in the fitness industry and you’re just very sincere, and that’s why I kept listening. So, I wouldn’t change a thing about your marketing, Ted.  

Ted Ryce: All right, appreciate that. And let’s talk about your experience in the program because everybody wants to know, “All right, what are the foods I have to eat? And how does it work?” How would you explain to someone, if someone asked you, well, what was it? “Why sign up for coaching? Can I just get a workout or diet online? Can I read a book?” How would you explain the difference of the experience that you had versus something else.  

Dan Gray: It’s really interesting because I’m going to be completely candid with you. So, you and I had a couple conversations before I formally joined the program, and then I joined the program and we had our first sort of coaching call.  

And honestly, the biggest feeling I came away with after that first call was disappointment because you were like, “All right, here’s what we’re doing. We’re going to track your calories, we’re going to eat a lot of protein,” and there was no magic. “Oh, this is so different than what I have heard in the past.”  

And I had just signed up and I was raring to go, and it was all things that I had heard before. So, again, my first impression was like, “Oh, this is nothing particularly new here.” And this is hard to explain too. Nobody had ever put it together for me in a comprehensive and workable way.  

So, in other words, I’m not an idiot, but I know that you expend more calories than you take in, you know, protein, you have to eat a lot of protein and you have to work regular exercise into it. But there’s just something about having a guide that’s like, “Look, here’s what you need to be doing,” and then, you encourage us to do it in a way that’s sustainable for us.  

And so, at a certain point, I would say maybe two or three weeks in, that all started to come together and then I realized, “Oh, well, this is why you get a coach and this is what this does for you,” because there’s just something about having that guidance that is critical to success in my opinion.  

Ted Ryce: It’s really hard to explain, and I really struggle with it as well. It’s like, why hire a coach? It’s a tough thing to explain and I think well, one reason is- I need to work on my explanation abilities, but the other reason is it’s very experiential.  

And so, you can talk about riding a bike through Europe and the sites you see, and the wind in your hair and the smells, and someone can be like, “Oh yeah, that sounds nice,” but until you experience it, it’s really hard to put in words, at least for me. Dan....  

Dan Gray: No, also, I mean, you’ve been doing this for over two decades and you know what works, you know what doesn’t, you’ve seen people go through the process before, and that’s absolutely critical. I mean, and I use this analogy all the time.  

I’m a divorce lawyer, divorce law is not particularly difficult, but I’ve been doing it for 25 years. And so, when somebody comes to me, I’m able to say, “Look, here’s the process you’re going to go through, and here’s what you’re going to be feeling at different points of the process, and here’s what we’re going to do to get you through the process.”  

Well, there’s nothing about that that is particularly complicated, but it takes somebody who has the experience of guiding people through the process over years to do it effectively. And I think that’s what you bring to the table on this.  

Ted Ryce: Yeah, I understand that. I mean, from my experience I have a business coach and that’s exactly how I view it as well. Dan, I want to talk a little bit more about the results because you said some really powerful things in our communication back and forth and you’ve lost about 40 pounds in just over four months, that’s incredible progress, and you told me a few things.  

You told me, “Wow, this is the best money I’ve ever spent,” you told me that “You wish you had done this 15 years ago,” I believe this what you had said. And can you just talk about your experience of—or talk about your experience of where you were when you first joined psychologically, with your health, and then where you are now? Like, what is the difference besides just that drop in 40 pounds?  

Dan Gray: I would say that I started off very frustrated. I mean, I’ve struggled with maintaining a healthy weight for all of my adult life, and I’ve read every health book I think that’s out there, and I’ve tried all the different diets. And you think your fitness is something that you should be able to get your arms around without anybody’s assistance, because it is sort of straightforward and we all know what we have to do, you have to exercise more, and you have to eat less.  

And it’s just frustrating that when you view yourself as somebody who’s intelligent and able to achieve in life that you can’t crack this particular nut, or at least you can’t do it on a sustainable basis. I mean, I’ve lost 50 pounds before, but then it all comes back on.  

So, that piece of it was extremely frustrating. You know, I said I’m 52, and when I turned 50, I had sort of resolved that I was going to get things under control, and then COVID hit in 2020, and I just didn’t feel ready to take it on. But at the beginning of this year, I was like, all right, well, this is the year that I’m going to sort of try to get this handled, and then, all those years, 25 years of having some limited success and then backsliding, it’s very intimidating.  

And so, I think that’s probably why I reached out because I realized that I needed help with it, but it was born out of frustration and just like, why can’t I get this? What is so complicated about this that I cannot figure it out?  

And now, having been in the program and having somebody put the pieces together for me and say, “You know, it’s not about killing yourself in the workouts and it’s not about only eating vegetables and it’s really more about making sure you get enough sleep and making sure that you’ve managed your stress.” Like all those things that I knew, putting them together in a way, again,   that’s sustainable and comprehensible, that was really the key for me.  

Ted Ryce: And Dan, when you tell that story, you mentioned that you had lost 50 pounds before, and you—I remember this story you told. You heard my interview with Stephan Guyenet, you went on an 800-calorie diet, lost a bunch of weight, it all came back on.  

But the way you’re talking now, you’ve lost 40 pounds just over four months, and we’re going to continue working together through the rest of the year here. What makes you confident about what we are doing that after you’re done the weight won’t come back again?  

Dan Gray: That’s a really good question, and in fact, at this stage of where I am in the process, I have gotten very great results on a very quick basis, and I think I spoke to you recently about that sort of doubt, kind of coming back to me and remembering all those times where, you know, maybe I did go for three or four months and had a lot of success and then maybe could sustain it for a month or two after that, but then you start the backslide.  

And so, I do have a little bit of that past experience and past fear sort of bubbling up, but I think what’s different about this time... and this is going to sound awfully simplistic, but I’d say two things.  

Number one, you have worked on a resistance training program that I think is sustainable for me, it’s not hours and hours a week in the gym, it’s 20 minutes four times a week. I’ve been able to make that work for this entire time and I’ve never gone that long with that sort of consistent resistance training, so to me, that’s very encouraging. So, that’s number one.  

Number two is, for me, the emphasis on protein, you know, on my target that you and I have set, is about 200 grams of protein a day. And for me, that has really eliminated hunger and it’s eliminated the cravings that I used to have.  

I have a huge, sweet tooth or at least I did have a huge, sweet tooth and what I’ve noticed over time, and I’ve noticed this other people in the group have commented on this as well, that you don’t get the same sort of cravings for that sort of stuff as you did in the past, or at least if you get them, they’re manageable.  

So, it’s the lack of feeling hungry all the time, and it’s sort of getting away from foods that used to really be triggers for me, and I think it has a lot to do with the  amount of protein that I’m eating.  

Ted Ryce: Interesting. And as far as other areas of your life that have changed besides your body, besides your confidence in not gaining weight back. Talk a little bit about your experience outside, just the metrics, the 40 pounds, the inches lost. How has this helped you?  

Dan Gray: I would say as part of the program, you really emphasize taking care of yourself and sort of devoting resources and devoting time to yourself. So, as an example, just getting over the hump of paying for something that was only going to benefit me, that wasn’t necessarily going to directly benefit my family or my law practice or anybody else except me.  

That was a huge step for me and having done that and rationalize that and gotten comfortable with it, sort of the next step was...In our conversations, certainly, we’ve been focusing on stress because I think stress has a direct impact on your fitness. You really emphasize “alright, well, what are you doing to manage your stress?”  

And I had said, “Well, I really don’t like to spend money on things like massages or anything else.” Again, that’s really directly focused on me, and I think you’ve consistently emphasized that you really have to do that if you’re going to get your stress managed.  

And so, getting over that hump was really important and seeing yourself as somebody who is worthy of spending 150 bucks every couple of weeks on a massage, that’s fine, it’s fine to do that, and in fact, it’s critical to do that. And what are you working so hard for, if you’re not going to do things like that?  

So, turning into the type of person that views those things as necessary self-care, rather than as an extravagant indulgence, I think has been transformative for me and it’s not selfish.  

The way I rationalize it for people that do have issues with it like I do, is, I don’t want to be a burden on my kids, I don’t want to be a burden on my spouse, I want to be fit as long as I can, and if doing this helps get me to that spot, then it’s money worth spending, it really is.  

Ted Ryce: Love that. And it’s so funny, I remember in the group, everybody’s like, “We’re all getting great results, but how do we keep it off?” It’s like, “Okay, who’s getting massages?” It’s kind of this thing where you can’t just  change what you’re eating in your exercise.  

So, to some people it might work for them, but if all of you have one thing in common and certainly, this represents your lifestyle, you’re working really hard, Dan.  

I remember recently, you didn’t even take a week off, you worked right through and it’s like, you have to make it, you know, talking about sustainable approaches, that tends to push you into that place where you’re using alcohol and food to feel good.  

And by the way, I think something I would love for you to share is, well, you went on two vacations, you went on one to London with your family and you came back, and you were like only a half-pound up. Can you talk a little bit about how we approached it or how you approached it rather, and with what you learned in the program?  

Dan Gray: Sure. So, we had planned a family trip, it had been in the works about a year to go to London for a week. And, you know, I talked with you about trying to set myself up so that, you know, I wanted to have fun while I was there, but at the same time, I didn’t want to take a terrific step backwards and then feel lousy about it and sort of, you know.  

You get to that point, or I have in the past where you might go for a period of several days where you’re just sort of not in control of what you’re doing, and then, at the end you just feel so bad about it that it’s hard to get back on the horse.  

And so, you and I worked to sort of make—I asked you for a travel workout program, we sort of talked about how we were going to handle the eating in a foreign country, and I sort of developed, I was going to have a really healthy breakfast, and then I was probably… if I wanted to drink beer and have a really enjoyable dinner, I’d probably skip lunch just to kind of keep the calories under control. And I ended up doing that and that was fine.  

I did not follow through on the workout program like I wanted to, but again, it was like I did enough, so that I didn’t completely derail myself. And I think you had said to me before I left, “Look, you just want to do well enough so that you don’t feel like garbage when you’re back.”  

And I was like, all right, that makes sense to me, and so, I’m going to do as  much as I can, but if I can’t do everything that I plan, I’m not going to feel lousy about it. And that was very, very helpful. We had a ball. I was able to enjoy myself and it was great.  

Ted Ryce: What’s been the hardest thing for you on the program?  

Dan Gray: What’s been the hardest thing on the program? It’s hard to answer that because it hasn’t been all that difficult. And I will say, I’m a person who does not need a lot of variety in terms of my meals, and I need things that are easy.  

So, for me, like on Sundays, I will grill up a bunch of fish, I’ll put it in the fridge, and I usually pack my lunch when I get home at night, I just pull out something that’s been pre-made, and I’ll microwave some vegetables and I am totally fine with that.  

So, from a meal’s perspective, it really hasn’t been difficult. I’ve said you created a sustained resistance training program that I can do, that isn’t all that hard. So, I guess what I would say is, what’s difficult is sort of coming to terms with feeling fine with not giving 110% to this diet and exercise program.  

Like, in the past, it’s sort of like you’re all in and you’re feeling good and you’re on a roll, whereas this, it’s sort of making peace with the fact that it is a marathon and it’s got to be sustainable, and you need to fit in days where you’re not going to crush it or workouts where you didn’t do as well as you did the last time, and that’s fine.  

I think that’s the hardest part, is just sort of trying to adopt a newer, longer-term view, and that is something that I’m still in the process of doing, I don’t know that I have that lick yet, but that’s why I signed up with you for a year because I want to make this something that’s sustainable for me.  

Ted Ryce: Hell yeah. And wow, so powerful. I learned so much when I do these testimonials. Dan, what would you say to someone who is maybe on the fence about booking that call with me like you did? What do you feel they should know before doing that? Or what advice would you give them?  

Dan Gray: You know, it’s hard to put myself back, and it’s only been a couple of months, it’s almost hard to put myself back in a position where I would be reluctant to make the call. Because like I said, I mean, I had listened to you for five years, over five years, I felt like you knew what you were doing. I don’t  know why I didn’t reach out before then, but now being five months into it, I would just say to people, it’s the best money that you’re ever going to spend.  

And maybe what it was—I’m trying to think of exactly what you said, but I think it was in a podcast like shortly before I called you, where you were like, “There is no amount of money that you would not pay to go back to that period of time before you had your heart attack or before you had that stroke or before you got that debilitating injury or before you developed diabetes.”  

And I think that’s what it was, now that I’m thinking back on it, I think that’s what it was, that really motivated me because I thought about that, I was like, “God, that’s right. I don’t want to be on the other end of a health crisis and trying to make up for lost time, I want to get ahead of it.”  

So, what I would say to people is, it is absolutely worth every penny, and it is not as hard as you think it is. Those are the two things I would say. I mean, I would…And I have told friends and family I’m definitely a believer in what you do.  

It’s hard for me to say enough positive things about it, Ted, and I guess I would just emphasize that point that you made before I made that call, which is, there’s no amount of money that you won’t be willing to pay when you’re on the other side of a health crisis. So, the amount you invest now is going to prevent that from happening.  

Ted Ryce: Wow, that’s powerful, Dan. Thank you so much for doing this today. I feel like we really got a bit deeper than some of the other testimonials that I have, and I really appreciate you coming here and being honest and just sharing your personal experience. So, Dan, thanks so much for doing this today.  

Dan Gray: Well, I’m happy to do it, Ted, and thank you for everything that you’ve done for me and frankly, for my family also.  

Ted Ryce: Oh, thank you so much, Dan, appreciate that.