Ted Talk 92: The #1 Mistake You’re Making In Your Health

Podcast Transcription: The #1 Mistake You're Making In Your Health

Ted Ryce: Are you a person who prides yourself on what you know about nutrition, about training, about supplementation, about the scientific details? Are you interested in those things? And do you study them religiously by listening to podcasts, reading blog posts, watching YouTube videos, reading books on longevity, talking about the science of sirtuins and of protein restriction and mTOR, and all these other things?

Great, because today is for you. We’re going to talk about the big mistake you’re making with your health and how to improve it beyond what you thought was even possible. 

So, what is up, folks? I’m your host, Ted Ryce, coach to entrepreneurs, executives and other high performers, and you’re listening in to the Legendary Life podcast.

Now on Mondays, we either do interviews, or I do a scientific breakdown on a health-related subject. But on Fridays, today, in other words, we have a real conversation about things, about the conversation behind the conversation. In other words, people talk about health, but I feel like we leave an awful lot out. And I want to kick this off by telling you what I’m up to lately.

So as many of you know, I’ve said this about a million times, but I’m going to say it again, I lost my dad, last year, October 3, I’m very bad, you know, I’m a typical guy when it comes to remembering dates, people’s birthdays, anniversaries, that type of thing. But man, I remember this date. And ever since then, you’ve probably heard, I’ve been in this struggle trying to pull myself up, getting dragged back down.

What am I getting dragged back down about? Or what are the things that are dragging me back down? My negative thoughts, my negative feelings, and behaviors that make me feel, you know, that kind of influence me to be more negative or to feel more negative? 

In other  words, staying up too late. And then I wake up not feeling well, the next day. And of course, if I’m not feeling well, then I’m not thinking well. And that’s the first thing I want to share with you is understand that your thoughts, your feelings, and your behaviors are all interconnected and interrelated. What we think, influences how we feel and what we do, what we do influences what we think and what we feel, and what we feel influences what we think and what we do, as well.

I hope I said that correctly, I might have messed that up, but you get the idea. All of them, every single aspect influences the other two aspects. And knowing this information, I’ve been doing a lot of things to put myself in a, instead of a downward negative spiral, where you feel bad, and, “I feel sad, I feel lonely, I feel tired.” And then you don’t go to the gym because you feel tired, you feel lonely, you feel sad.

And then you start to feel bad more, and then you start to think, “Well, life is really shitty because I feel bad all the time,” right? We can get caught in this cycle and the thoughts influence the feelings, influence the behaviors, back to the thoughts. You know, it’s just, you get stuck in this downward cycle. But there’s also an upward cycle, an upward spiral of positivity, right? And I don’t mean that in the cheesy, “Think positive thoughts all the time.”

It’s not about that. It’s about positive emotions. It’s not about thinking happy thoughts. It’s about feeling good. It’s about having good energy. It’s not about trying to reframe something negative in something positive. For example, my dad died, right? I’m not going to say, “No, it was a positive thing” or try to story make up some about it, you know, it was painful.

There’s a lot of unresolved stuff there, unresolved emotions and conversations that I’ll never get to have, some issues that well, I could resolve them on my own, but I won’t be able to resolve them with him, right? And so, it’s not about reframing things and bullshitting ourselves into saying that something’s a good thing when it’s not.

It’s simply about, do you feel good mostly? Do you have mostly good thoughts? Do you do most of the things that you need to do to the point where, in other words, are your behaviors conducive to feeling good? And so, I’ve really been trying to do the things and think the things and to feel the things that put me in this upward spiral.

But I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been doing acupuncture, I’ve been getting Shiatsu massages, 90 minutes. I don’t do hour long massages anymore; they’ve got to be 90 minutes now. It’s my new normal. So, I’ve been doing all these things. I’ve been hitting the gym, I’ve been, you know, but I’ve been struggling still. And I want to be honest with you.

And interestingly, I did something that changed the game for me. I did something that changed the game for me. And what was that thing? Guess what it was. Can you guess? I hired a coach. Actually, I didn’t hire a coach. I joined a coaching program and it changed everything for me.

Now I’m actually in two coaching programs, I should tell you this. One was for dating, and it didn’t really work out so well for me so I basically—I don’t want to say lost the money because one thing that I learned was a game changing, I learned something that was a game changing piece of information that I guess I needed to pay $2,000 to learn.

But this other coaching, it’s not. It’s a business coaching group. And these guys are rock stars. And so, watch my business explode in the next few months. We are re-doing everything from the ground up. And I’m sharing this with you for a few different reasons. Number one is that I didn’t know... I really wanted some help with our business. We know how to make money with our coaching.

We know enough about it, we can not just survive and pay the bills, but we can make enough money to thrive and to have a good life. But we were struggling with making it into something that’s scalable? How do we turn a coaching situation into something that’s scalable, because what we were doing before it came with a lot of work? That was one of the things we were struggling with.

And also, on a deeper level, how do we impact? How do we really make a deep impact? And how do we do it while feeling great and accomplishing things, not getting, you know, for me, a lot of people are, “successful” but financially only; they’re overweight, their sex drive is non-existent, they feel like crap, but they’ve got money in the bank.

And so what do they do, they buy $5,000 watches ,or $10,000 Hublots and new cars and drop 100k on a car, maybe even 200k on a car, but they’re driving around in it and they’re overweight, they feel like crap, their energy sucks. And they feel like they’re getting old, they feel like they’re going down the drain. And why? Because they work so hard and they don’t manage their stress.

I don’t want that. I’ve seen plenty of that. I’ve seen plenty of the guys with millions in the bank, or maybe even 100 million in the bank and they’re overweight and they drink too much alcohol and they’re not that happy, their relationships aren’t that great. I don’t want that. That is not success. That’s a failure for me personally, that’s my standard.

That’s a problem that needs to be fixed. That is not anything to aspire to. And on a side note, I think that’s actually like, something we don’t talk enough about in society, is we look at financial success as like, “Okay, you have money, congrats, you’re the big winner.” And it’s like, “Hmm, I don’t think so. I don’t think so.” Some people certainly have it all. And in having it all is possible.

But the point is I just didn’t want to end up like that, right? Because making money, it’s important. It’s one of the best things you can do for your health, really, but sacrificing yourself, your happiness, your health along the way to make it, that’s a problem, that’s not a success, and so I didn’t want to end up that way.

And so I got in with this group, and it’s a rock star group. And then all of a sudden, all the breathwork, all the acupuncture, all the massages, I’m still doing those things. But now I don’t have to work so hard. I don’t need three massages every week and two acupuncture sessions and three breathwork, you know, all this stuff that I was doing, that was working so hard to improve the way I feel.

And now I’m not working so hard anymore. I’m so excited to be part of this group. And I want to share with you this, I didn’t know that was going to be the case, I didn’t have this plan where I’m like, “Oh, I know exactly what I’m going to do to pull myself out of this negative, this struggle.” I wasn’t in a negative spiral, but I kept going up, then getting sucked back down, kept going up, getting sucked back down.

And I wanted to make it a consistent positive climb. Those are the people who end up winning all around, that upward positive spiral where you feel good, you do the right things, and you think the right things, right? Think the right things, I don’t mean that philosophically, I mean that emotionally, you’re thinking the things that help you achieve your goals, that help you stay in that positive state.

And again, we’re not talking about—no, we’re not talking about coloring the world or looking at the world in a way that is pollyannish or naive, we’re talking about putting yourself in a good positive state so that you can get the things done that you need to get done. So I didn’t know that this was going to be the solution. It just happened to be that way.

And that’s why I wanted to share it with you today, because it is exactly what I needed. And I didn’t know that was what I needed. Because in a lot of ways, my life was good. I don’t have to work that hard. I’ve got money in the bank. I know how to make money with the business. Even though we hadn’t worked so much, we didn’t take a lot of clients, I took months off—not completely off of work.

But after my dad died, I took time off. And I thought it was a good thing, but really what I needed was I needed a purpose, I needed to get back in the game, I needed to be excited about something again. And the thing that changed it all. And it wasn’t coaching by the way. It’s not like, “Oh, coaching was the answer.” It’s now that I’m being led again, I’ve got a teacher, again, a teacher for business, and a guy who is congruent, whose values are congruent with mine.

This guy, he’s got multiple seven figure businesses. He’s only 37 years old. He’s a total rock star. And not only is he helping other people make seven figure businesses. He also had his first kid, he’s competing in a physique competition. He’s living his life. He’s having a great time. He’s energized by what he does. That’s what I want.

I know I’m energized by my coaching, but sometimes I feel like, man, you know, it just feels like there’s a glass ceiling that I keep hitting, that I’m not getting beyond. 

Do you ever feel like that? Like, I’m doing a lot of the right things? I know I’m exercising, I’m doing this stuff, but I feel like it’s a lot of work. I’m not getting in the zone.

Do you know what I mean by that, where there’s nothing wrong with hard work, that’s important? But eventually, hard work is unsustainable. It burns us out. We need to get to the point where things flow, things flow. 

Now, I flow with my client conversations, my coaching calls. I love coaching my clients, I love working with them, I love solving problems. But in growing my business, I wasn’t in the zone, if you know what I mean.

Like, how are we going to scale this? What are we going to do? And now I’ve got that, and we’re rebuilding the business from the ground up, and we have such amazing help to do it. I’m so excited right now. And one of the things that I’m really excited about is there’s a community of like-minded people that I’m now a part of, and we’re going to be meeting up in person.

In fact, in October, we’re having the first mastermind, where I’m going to do an in-person meetup with other people who are in this program. And how cool is that? And why I’m mentioning this is because so many of us, we try to solve our problems by looking at what we can do for exercise, and we drag ourselves to the gym, and we’re good about going to the gym, even when we don’t want to go.

Even when we don’t feel like going, we still go, because we’re good like that. We’re high performers, we push ourselves, we push ourselves to do the things that other people just won’t. And we try to eat well, we take our supplements, we make the best choices we can with nutrition. We try to get our sleep, but sometimes what we miss is the other two parts.

In other words, we focus on the biology, but we don’t focus on the psychological aspects of health, we don’t focus on the social aspects of health. And those are crucial parts. They’re not smaller parts. I mean, it depends on the person, if you’re not exercising at all, if you eat nothing but crap food, if your diets 90% process junk, then you’ve got some work to do.

And then what are you even doing listening to this podcast, right? It’s probably… Anyway, it’s okay, if that’s you, by the way. But this is really the podcast for people who are already on the path, and they’re looking for that next level, right? But most of the people who we attract, they’re already exercising four to five times a week, they’re already making good choices when it comes to nutrition, they’re looking for what is the missing part to get them to the next level?

And certainly, there are things that we teach our clients, our coaching clients, about nutrition, about exercise that changes the game for them. But guess what, that stuff gets taught very quickly. The other stuff, the psychological side, in other words, how much stress you’re under the social side, how are your relationships? Your relationships with your partner, with your kids, with your co-workers, with your employees, with your sales leaders, with your other executives, whatever it is?

How are those relationships? Are you supported enough in your other relationships? And for me, now, I don’t have my parents, I’m not supported by my parents, I’ve got my business partner, but her and I are at the same level. Now we’ve got the support we need. And so, I’m really excited about it. So, expect some big changes coming up. This was more of me just sharing.

The lesson here is really just me sharing that sometimes we just need to keep experimenting and trying things to see what works, to see what gives us the breakthrough, because sometimes we don’t know. Because I thought, wow, I took a lot of time off and I still don’t feel good. I’m not working that hard and I still don’t feel good. So, what I needed wasn’t more time off.

What I needed was to find purpose again, what I needed was to find my tribe again, a tribe of people who have similar values and similar goals. In other words, they want to grow their business, they want to make a lot of money, but they also want to make a big impact, a positive impact on other people’s lives and they want to do it while also making a positive impact in their own lives, in their own families.

That’s the winning trifecta right there. That’s success for me. And I want you to ask yourself, what you’re trying right now. And what are your results? Are you like me and you’re dragging yourself to the gym and you’re dragging yourself to get your massages? I am, was seeing, and still am seeing a psychologist, that was helpful, but it wasn’t creating the breakthrough that I needed.

It was certainly helpful, but it wasn’t creating this—like you know it creates the breakthrough when you’re a part of it and you’re excited about it, when you feel energized. In other words, if you feel bad, ‘Okay, I feel bad but oh, I go workout and I feel better.” But the next day comes and you feel bad again, and then you go get a massage, then you feel better.

What happened after I joined this coaching program is I feel good when I wake up in the morning now. I don’t need to go do something. Now, I shouldn’t say that, I still need to go do something to make myself feel better, but it comes much more easily, because I’m excited. I wake up excited about what I’m doing.

And so, as I say this, what is it? How is this relevant? How is this story relevant to you? What are the aspects of this story that I’m sharing, that you’re applying to your life, that you’re thinking about what you’re doing, the results you’re getting, and what you might need to try to bring yourself up to the next level? Because, folks, there’s always a next level.

And I want to say this, too, because some of us have the idea that, oh, that we play the game of, “I’ll be happy when,” I’ll be happy when I make a certain amount of money, I’ll be happy when I have my first kid or get married, or I’ll be happy when I lose 20 pounds, or I’ll be happy when I can see my abs, or whatever it is.

But the game we need to play is how do I feel good now? Play the game of how do I feel good now! And if you’re working too hard to feel good emotionally, to feel good with your thoughts, to feel good with your behaviors. If you’re working too hard, it’s a sign that you’re in the right direction, but you haven’t quite gone deep enough, you haven’t quite gotten to the root of your problem, you haven’t quite gotten to the root of your problem.

And for me, the root cause of some of my negative thoughts, feelings, and negative behaviors was I just, I needed to immerse myself in purpose, my business, because my business isn’t about making money, it’s about making impact. And it’s also about not just you know, making a positive impact in your life, but it’s about making a positive impact in my life as well. I feel good. I feel like I’m in the zone when I’m in my business and pushing forward.

So, what do you feel like you might need to try? And if you’re struggling with this question, just look at the three big areas. There’s your health, how is your health doing? Let’s do this; rate your health on a scale of one to ten. One being, “Man, my health sucks. I’m going to drop dead of a heart attack tomorrow.” Or ten being like, “Oh, yeah, totally got this handled.”

And then there’s your wealth, which isn’t just the amount of money but your career, your purpose, those types of things, your business. How do you feel about that, on a scale of one to ten? And then your relationships, all of your relationships, we can niche down further but your relationships, scale one to ten.

So, take the one that you scored the lowest on and that’s the lowest hanging fruit, that’s the thing that might be the thing that will, if you take the right actions toward it, will change everything for you, will put you in the zone in life, because when you’re in the zone, man, that’s a powerful place to be, it is the place to be.he 

Now we can’t be in the zone all the time, but the more time we spend in this zone, the more we’re going to get out of life, the more we’re going to enjoy life, less we’re going to be focused on what happened in the past, the terrible things that happened in the past, the less we’re going to worry about the future, the more we’re going to be present.

So out of those three areas, your health, your wealth, your relationships, which ones did you score the least? And then what is it about that area that you’re really struggling with? What is it about that area that you’re really struggling with? If it’s relationships, is it a relationship with…? Do you not have good friends? Are you in a relationship that needs some work with your partner? You’re married, you’ve got a girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever, these days, and it needs work?

Or do you have children and that needs work? With your health, I mean, do you exercise consistently and are you at a healthy weight? Although a lot of people don’t like that, they want to say, let’s call it low risk weight, I’m just going to roll old school and say healthy, right? But low risk is good too, actually, it just sounds more... It just doesn’t sound as good healthy weight, healthy body fat percentage.

Because those are the two things right there. Just, are you consistently active? Are you at a healthy weight? And if you’re not, you’ve got some work to do. And what about your wealth? Do you hate your job? Do you love your job? Do you hate your business? Do you love your business? I’ve told this story here of a client who had a billion-dollar business, but what he really wanted to do was he wanted to go work with startups.

That was his passion. But he felt like he couldn’t sell his business, because people weren’t making offers that he felt that he could handle emotionally. He thought I’ve worked so hard for this business to make it what it is, and people aren’t offering me the amount of money that I think it’s worth. But you have to ask yourself, well if that’s the case, then what is your time worth? Because your time is more limited than money, you’re going to die?

Do you really want to spend your time when you are financially free to do whatever it is that you want to do, for the most part, to be in a business, to even run a business that’s profitable, but that you’re not passionate about? So what area do you need work? And what about that area? What are the details of that area? What specifically do you need to work in that area, to take yourself to the next level?

And so that’s what I want to leave you with, because guess what, I’ve got a call with my coach in seven minutes and I need to get ready for that. But I just want to share that good news with you and also just expect big things. We’re going to be restructuring not only the coaching part, but we’re going to restructure all parts of our business, including the podcast, it’s just going to get better. I am so excited.

So again, to bring it back to you, think about the three big areas, think about the area that you need the most work in and what about that area needs the most work. That’s what I want to leave you with. Have an amazing weekend, and I will speak to you on Monday.